Politics and sexuality. Two topics that can raise the intensity of a room within seconds.
As I work with many guys, there is an eye opening quantity of young men struggling with their sexual identity. There are countless names for them; gays, homosexuals, sodomists, etc, most names are better left unsaid. Many are men who grew up in church, in Christian homes.
Before I personally knew any men who have "same-sex-attraction" (SSA), I verbally swung my right-slanted opinions like a baseball bat at the Precious Moments museum. I thought "How gross!", "How dirty!", "How messed up they are!", "They should just change!". "Ban that behavior!", "Immoral!"
As with any other opinion, the fewer people we know and interact with who have life experience that confronts ours, the more "close-minded" we become; the more our politics and theology become one-sided.
I was (and probably still am in some areas) close-minded for sure.
This ideology came from somewhere...(I don't plan on shredding my conservative roots, especially since I believe my mom subscribes to this blog)...but I will point a stick at the hush-hush approach of the church...who is generally either silent on this issue or extremely harsh. It was either "We have no idea what to do with this issue, and cannot admit that there are men in our congregation wrestling with these things", or "Let's beat the gayness out of them with a Bible".
When I meet men who are attracted to other men, neither of these positions is very effective in interacting with them. And if they are interested in not having these attractions, and want help, neither silence nor abuse are effective tools.
I have gained some insight into this complex issue in the past few months.
The root of a man's homosexual desire is a healthy longing for genuine non-sexual male to male intimacy.
(re-read previous sentence)
This healthy, God-given, longing just gets twisted, and sexualized. At it's core, the longing is GOOD, but it emerges at the surface as a sexual issue. The core issue is NOT sexual.
I interact with a couple guys every week who are attracted sexually to other men. In their transformational process, it has been exciting for me to learn to affirm men within this struggle. It is very fun to tell them that they have "healthy" inner longings, but simply a misdirected outlet to meet those longings. Acting on those longing sexually, will never meet the deeper longings.
I enjoy telling them the truth that they are not "messed up" at their core.
I would love for them to be able to walk into church without shame on their faces, without fear that they will be shunned for their behavior. I would love for all my friends and family to have no phobia or anger when it comes to SSA, (even the most extreme and annoying ones because well...there are plenty of christians who are equally extreme and annoying) I would love for people who follow Christ to have a gracious understanding of what is really going on inside.
Here is a 17 minute video from the President-elect, Dr. Julie Harren-Hamilton, of NARTH (National association for research and therapy of Homosexuality). No, it is not graphic. I believe every christian, especially those who care to voice their opinions at times like I do, should know the basics that this video teaches. Enjoy.
Also, to fathers, your boys really need you!
www.homosexuality101.com
As always, comments are welcome.
Even rebuttals...debate can be healthy education...
Much Love,
David
As I work with many guys, there is an eye opening quantity of young men struggling with their sexual identity. There are countless names for them; gays, homosexuals, sodomists, etc, most names are better left unsaid. Many are men who grew up in church, in Christian homes.
Before I personally knew any men who have "same-sex-attraction" (SSA), I verbally swung my right-slanted opinions like a baseball bat at the Precious Moments museum. I thought "How gross!", "How dirty!", "How messed up they are!", "They should just change!". "Ban that behavior!", "Immoral!"
As with any other opinion, the fewer people we know and interact with who have life experience that confronts ours, the more "close-minded" we become; the more our politics and theology become one-sided.
I was (and probably still am in some areas) close-minded for sure.
This ideology came from somewhere...(I don't plan on shredding my conservative roots, especially since I believe my mom subscribes to this blog)...but I will point a stick at the hush-hush approach of the church...who is generally either silent on this issue or extremely harsh. It was either "We have no idea what to do with this issue, and cannot admit that there are men in our congregation wrestling with these things", or "Let's beat the gayness out of them with a Bible".
When I meet men who are attracted to other men, neither of these positions is very effective in interacting with them. And if they are interested in not having these attractions, and want help, neither silence nor abuse are effective tools.
I have gained some insight into this complex issue in the past few months.
The root of a man's homosexual desire is a healthy longing for genuine non-sexual male to male intimacy.
(re-read previous sentence)
This healthy, God-given, longing just gets twisted, and sexualized. At it's core, the longing is GOOD, but it emerges at the surface as a sexual issue. The core issue is NOT sexual.
I interact with a couple guys every week who are attracted sexually to other men. In their transformational process, it has been exciting for me to learn to affirm men within this struggle. It is very fun to tell them that they have "healthy" inner longings, but simply a misdirected outlet to meet those longings. Acting on those longing sexually, will never meet the deeper longings.
I enjoy telling them the truth that they are not "messed up" at their core.
I would love for them to be able to walk into church without shame on their faces, without fear that they will be shunned for their behavior. I would love for all my friends and family to have no phobia or anger when it comes to SSA, (even the most extreme and annoying ones because well...there are plenty of christians who are equally extreme and annoying) I would love for people who follow Christ to have a gracious understanding of what is really going on inside.
Here is a 17 minute video from the President-elect, Dr. Julie Harren-Hamilton, of NARTH (National association for research and therapy of Homosexuality). No, it is not graphic. I believe every christian, especially those who care to voice their opinions at times like I do, should know the basics that this video teaches. Enjoy.
Also, to fathers, your boys really need you!
www.homosexuality101.com
As always, comments are welcome.
Even rebuttals...debate can be healthy education...
Much Love,
David
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